This Next Year

Sadness, Anxiety and Fear

February 26, 2019

If you were to ask me about how I’ve felt over the past couple of months, the three words in the title would come up very often. I have on multiple occasions been scared, upset and very very often anxious. Getting over a long term relationship is never easy, least of all when you were the one that was broken up with. And if that wasn’t enough, it definitely doesn’t help when the one person that means the world to you, cuts you off.

I’ve never really had anxiety (attacks) before this. So I never really knew what it meant when people said they have anxiety or that they were an anxious person. I always brushed it off as something quite easily manageable. In the recent past, I’ve realized how stupid and shortsighted that was of me. Dealing with these attacks has probably been the most difficult thing I’ve had to do on a personal level. I would fear them, I’d think that getting one probably meant I was going to have a shit day (mostly because I’d have them the moment I’d get up). And I felt like that’d be my fear for the rest of my life until a conversation I recently had changed my perspective of these three terms.

To give you a tl;dr version of it:

  • Sadness is probably related to something from your past. Something that hurt you and probably to this day, upsets you.
  • Anxiety is in the present and more often than not, it either has to do with what you’re sad about or something that you fear.
  • Fear is essentially being scared of something. Something that could possibly in the near future cause anxiety and then eventually lead to sadness.

For those interested in the longer version, what I am trying to get at, or at least what I personally got from the conversation was that these three things go hand in hand. They are almost always in some way or form connected to each other and one often leads to the other or vice-versa. So what do we do about these feelings? What do I plan (or hope) to do about them?

Let’s start with sadness. Is it really so bad to be upset? Is it really so bad to grieve? There was a part of your life that you cherished and now that part isn’t there anymore and it probably sucks. And for all those reasons, it really is okay to be upset. It’s okay to grieve.

Moving on to anxiety, I honestly don’t have a fool-proof plan to avoid or conquer this feeling. But there is an idea (read in Nick Fury’s voice). Whenever you do feel like you’re going to be anxious, do something that makes you feel better. For me, it more often than not is going for a run or a walk or anything that makes me feel like it’ll help me lose weight or try and get some work done on Travel As An Indian.

As for fear, it really depends, doesn’t it? It depends on what the fear is regarding. If it is something I am going to have to tackle in the near future anyway, why not do it now? If it is something from my past that scares me, why not get rid of it? Probably sounds easier than it really is.

To end this post, I am really sorry if this wasn’t really written well or didn’t even come across as a post but just some guy rambling on. I am writing this on my flight back to Mumbai from Thailand on barely any sleep and more so as a reminder to myself about the conversation and about how dealing with these feelings has worked for me. So yeah, if you didn’t like it, just let it go. :P

Faraz Patankar

Life, work and everything in between by Faraz Patankar.